What makes some relationships feel easier to move inside than others?
In this episode of Connecting Culture, Nathan sits down with Gwen to talk about the cultures and experiences that shaped the way she connects with people — from growing up in Gabon, to rebuilding after loss and homelessness, to community work, entrepreneurship and media. Together, they explore trust, cultural fluency, belonging, dignity, follow-through and why small gestures can change the way people receive us.
At the centre of the conversation is a simple idea: connection becomes easier when people feel seen, understood and know that your care is real.
We move more easily with people when we feel seen, understood, and can trust that they’ll show up.
Six things Gwen said.
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01
The whole neighbourhood raised me
“Back in Gabon, the society raised me, the whole neighborhood in which I was, everyone knows each other till this day. Everybody calls each other auntie and uncles and cousins, although we’re not even related.”
Gwen’s first model of community was interdependence. Before professional networks or formal leadership, she learned that care, correction, responsibility and respect could be shared across a whole neighborhood. It becomes an early lens for how she thinks about showing up for people.
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02
Speak to people in their language
“Why I get it right with certain people is because I’ve been in that position and I learned to speak to people in their language. And that’s not just the dialect that we speak, it’s the culture. It’s understanding who they are, understanding their traumas.”
This may be the clearest explanation for why connection feels easier with some people. Gwen is not talking about changing how you speak so people will like you. She is talking about doing the work to understand someone’s context before trying to help, lead or connect.
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03
Small gestures make a big difference
“These are small little gestures that do make a difference, and it might seem like nothing to us, but it’s a big, big thing to some of the people that we work with.”
Food that is culturally familiar. A bike. Sitting on the stairs. Returning the next day. Gwen’s examples show that trust is often built through specific, repeatable acts that tell someone: I noticed you, I listened, and I remembered.
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04
Then I can trust you
“Saying, ‘I’m gonna get you this,’ and actually bringing them what you said you will get them, or ‘I will get your social worker to answer you,’ and getting the social worker to answer — these are things that make them feel like, okay, then I can trust you.”
Connection gets easier when people do not have to wonder whether your words mean anything. For Gwen, dependability is not separate from relationship-building. It is one of the ways relationship becomes real.
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05
Belonging is something you create
“I belong. And if I don’t belong, then I set my own table and I make sure that I make people feel like they belong.”
“I think that everyone is interconnected and no one is above anyone.”
Belonging in Gwen’s story is not only something she looks for. It is something she creates. That shifts the leadership question from “Do I fit here?” to “What am I doing so the people around me know they belong here too?”
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06
If it costs me my peace
“If it’s gonna cost me my peace, it’s not gonna be invited in my life.”
The episode also makes room for the fact that not every relationship needs to be maintained. Connection is not about forcing rhythm. Part of moving well with people is recognizing when a relationship is no longer healthy enough to keep carrying forward.
Connection is not only chemistry or access. It is built in the small moments where we learn how to move with each other: understanding someone’s context, noticing what matters to them, following through, and making room for their participation. As trust grows, less energy goes into figuring out where we stand and more can go into moving together.